


Forgotten Memories

by mocking_words



Series: 12 Days of Romanogers (Christmas 2016) [6]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: F/M, First Meetings, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2016-12-19
Packaged: 2018-09-09 21:36:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8913166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mocking_words/pseuds/mocking_words
Summary: Steve and Natasha take James to visit his grandparents' graves





	

The thought had been running through her mind since James had gotten off school for the holidays. He was seven now and it was honestly difficult and fulfilling at the same time; watching her baby grow up and join the other kids at school.

He had plenty of friends and was one of the popular kids in school apparently, to which both Steve and her laughed at when they found out. She hadn't ever had the chance to experience going to school but Steve had, and he'd often told her about his experiences. He'd even told her about attending the prom that he had been forced to go to.

"It wasn't the best night of my life," he said, flipping through the TV channels as they sat in the living room of his old Brooklyn apartment. She had her feet propped on his lap, a blanket thrown over both of them, "Buck was there, picking up the chicks as usual while I stood by the sidelines, of course."

"Well, they were clearly missing out on this," she replied, turning to gaze at him. His side profile was her favourite.

"Ninety-pound asthmatic Steve Rogers wasn't exactly a ladies man," he chuckled, "He was pretty much invisible anyway."

"Lucky me then."

He turned to meet her eyes and smiled, patting her knee, "You know if you'd have gone, you'd be the most beautiful one there."

"Flatterer," she grinned, shaking her head.

"It's true, Rosalind was the most popular girl in school and the prettiest but she couldn't have compared to you. Not when she's like a hundred and probably very dead by now," he laughed. "You're an asshole, Rogers," she gasped, slapping his arm.

"I'm kidding, she's nothing special when compared to someone like you," he said, pulling her in and leaving a kiss on the top of her head, "But that's just my bias opinion."

"Steve from the 40s might've not been a ladies man but the Steve today is clearly a well-bred stud," she sighed.

"Touché," he replied, grinning madly.

That had been the end of that topic. James, on the other hand, was nothing but spoiled rotten by her and Steve, as well as all his various other aunts and uncles, but he was a sweet kid. Nothing ever swayed him from his task and once he set his mind to something, he was going to get it. Natasha still remembered the time he had wanted a new pair of football boots but refused to let her or anyone else buy them for him. He had been insistent that they pay him for helping out around the house instead. Over the course of several weeks, he had made enough to buy his shoes. Steve had obviously cheated by tipping him generously every time he helped him with the dishes. Four dollars per dish was probably more than the minimum wage of a bus boy per hour in New York City but she was fine with it. Of course, she'd be fine with it.

They had lived in New York since the Avengers formed all those years ago and hadn’t left, even after James was born. It was easier this way, after all. They had someone to look after James while they were away and friends to hang out with on special occasions. The only thing missing was family she'd supposed. Both her and Steve had lost both parents to nothing but time and fate. It was never an easy topic to broach and they hardly brought it up at all because it had been so long but somehow this Christmas it had gotten her thinking, maybe it was time. James had never lived with the illusion that his grandparents were still alive, they didn’t want to lie to him that way. It would only break his heart. James was so pure and so much like Steve, compassionate and caring, that she wondered most of the time if someone like her, would ever be a good parent to someone like him.

* * *

“Steve?”

“Hey, Nat,” he called out from the office, swerving his chair to motion for her to come over, “In here.”

She walked on over and shut the door behind her. James was downstairs, watching television and very likely falling asleep; she wanted to take this chance to talk to Steve.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, his brows creased in concern. She shook her head, carding her fingers through his hair and she felt him relax, “I just wanted to talk to you about something.”

“You’re not planning on a divorce, are you?” he asked, looking at her seriously as she sat down on his lap, curling up, “Because I swear I won’t let James near another cookie after nine p.m.”

She raised an eyebrow at him, “You let our son eat a cookie after nine without telling me?” She definitely wasn’t blaming him nor was she mad, just slightly amused.

He shrugged defensively, “Kid was hungry. Besides, he’s growing up; he can handle a cookie or two.”

“Three?” she questioned, laughing.

“Third time’s a charm,” he grinned, “Well, since you’re not fuming mad, I assume that you’re not here to tell me you’re leaving me.”

“You’re an asshole, Rogers,” she said, smacking his chest lightly, “I wouldn’t be mad at you for giving James a cookie, or three for that matter.”

“What’s wrong, Nat?” he asked, wrapping his arms around her waist, “You seem a little distracted and you said you wanted to talk. I’m all ears.”

She hesitated for awhile before speaking, “I was thinking about taking James to see your parents.”

Steve’s eyes widened and she bit her lip, wondering if he would feel upset by her suggestion. Still, she kept quiet and waited for him to run through the idea.

“What made you bring this up?”

“I mean, he’s never going to be able to meet them but I’m sure he’d like to at least see them,” she replied, not meeting his gaze as she busied herself with picking at a thread on his dark blue jumper.

“Nat, look at me,” he said quietly as she lifted her gaze to meet with his blue eyes, “Do you think that this is best for him?”

She sighed, untangling his arms from around her and standing up. She paced the room, “I don’t know, he’s such a sweet and amazing boy and the more he grows up, the more I’m afraid he’s going to see me for who I am. I’m not noble or heroic or anything like that, Steve. I’m not like you.”

“Natasha, remember what we talked about? All those years ago?” he asked, getting up and wrapping his arms around her, leaving a kiss on the top of her head.

She buried her face into his chest quietly, feeling overwhelmed.

“He’s never going to see you as Black Widow, you know,” Steve said, rubbing soothing circles on her back, “He’s only ever going to see you as him mum and he loves you. I love you. We’re all just doing our best here, Nat. We’re all taking guesses. But I can’t do this without you, alright?”

She nodded, "Okay."

They stood like that for a while as Steve hummed his favourite songs quietly in her ear. She felt herself relax; he had always had that calming effect on her.

“I thought about what you said,” he started.

“About James meeting your parents?”

“Yeah,” he said quietly, “I think it’s a good move.”  
She pulled back, looking at him, “Really?”

“James’ is old enough to know about these things. He’s a smart kid, he knows the ins and outs.”

“I can’t believe you’re agreeing to this.”

“It’s all in the past, Nat. I can’t let it keep its hold on me forever. Besides, I’ve got you and James to look forward to.”

“I love you,” she smiled as he dipped his head for a kiss.

“I love you too.”

* * *

The next morning was spent at the graveyard in Brooklyn where Sarah and Joseph Rogers was buried. Natasha let go of James’ hand and he set the bouquet of flowers down on each grave carefully.

“Hi grandma, hi grandpa. My name is James and I’m your grandson. Daddy said you like daisies best grandma, so we went to pick up some from the florist. We bought you roses, grandpa, because daddy also said they remind you of the time you went dancing with grandma on your first date.”

They stepped back as James carried on his conversation, telling his grandma and grandpa stories about his days at school and which girl he fancied most. She had come here once with him, after her and Steve had gotten married, and she had watched as his expression crumbled at the sight of the two headstones. He missed them dearly and she could tell; simply because she missed her parents too. She hadn’t had the chance to get to know them, they hadn’t watched her grow up and most times, she was left wondering if they’d ever be proud of her.

Steve squeezed her hand tightly and she looked up to see his gaze fixed on James up ahead. It was a look that spoke a thousand words. It was then that she knew he had been thinking about this too.

* * *

“Nat?” Steve called out as he turned over to face her. She had always been a light sleeper, “Hm?”

“Thank you,” he said, pulling her closer. She tucked herself under his arm and murmured her response, eyes still closed, “What for?”

“Today,” he said quietly, brushing a strand of hair away from her face, “I was tucking James into bed and he was telling me that he wanted to go visit his grandma and grandpa again on Christmas morning.”

She opened her eyes, looking at him. His gaze was soft and she reached out to stroke his cheek, “Looks like I made the right decision then.”

“I had been debating about this for the longest  
time you know,” he said.

“You were scared, Steve. It’s okay, I get you.”

“Looks like I was scared for nothing though, James handled the situation like a pro.”

“I think you handled it wonderfully as well.”

Steve wasn’t scared for James, he had been afraid of facing it himself. After the civil war, he hadn’t been quite the same for a long time and he was still trying to come to terms with the situation. He had been alright with going rogue, it had been for Bucky. But every now and again, she knew he’d wake up shaking. He had felt responsible for getting his team locked up and everything else that went with it. He’d felt guilty whenever he thought about his parents, especially when he thought about Sarah would say. She had built him up to be who he was by do the right things but the world was constantly evolving and Natasha knew that his parents would’ve been proud of him no matter which path he choose to take.

“I love you,” she smiled, “Get some sleep, otherwise the little rascal will be knocking on the door before you get a decent cat nap.”

“He’s not a rascal, he’s our son,” he said, tapping a finger on her nose affectionately.

“Everyone is a rascal, Rogers. Even you,” she replied with a yawn.

She was right though, she was always right.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why I think Steve would find things like these hard, but there ya go. Leave kudos and comments if you liked it x


End file.
